Flying Dreams & Discovering Portals
Everytime BAFTA-winning entrepreneur turned cosmic musician WUNDER BETA and I connect, we feel transported into another realm; this conversation is no exception.
WUNDER BETA a.k.a Beta Lucca
I’ve known Beta for almost a decade and she’s always felt like a soul sister to me. She describes herself as belonging to “the world of immigrants of identity, wonder-seekers and overthinking achievers” and in the last couple of years has dedicated herself to bringing about connection, closeness and wunder through her live performances and original Electro-Bossa music.
Beyond the accolades (and there are many — BAFTA-winning studios, wearable art at the V&A, features in Forbes and BBC News), what has always stood out to me is Roberta’s spirit. She leads by following her curiosity and invites the rest of us to do the same.
I hope you enjoy reading where this unscripted conversation took us!
To differentiate between speakers, Louise’s dialogue is in italics, whilst her guest, WUNDER BETA is like so.
“I dream of being an artist who moves people’s emotions through music, light, dance, all five senses. Being on stage surrounded by incredible human beings in the audience who feel something. Feel connected, feel seen, loved.”
You’re here!!
Yess! Made it 🙂
Whilst your laptop was loading, I started reflecting on what this (Living with Louise exploration) is. Truthfully it’s not very well defined but I also think that’s okay. Like a sketchbook with light-pencil drawings as opposed to well-honed paintings…
Got it! So funny, I went to a show at the Jazz Cafe yesterday to see a Brazilian artist I love. At some point he invited us all to think of his show as if we were in his bedroom, on (in?) an intimate situation. Just like this. Transform an environment that’s not intimate into one.
Yes, I think you’re right there. Google docs are usually quite dry and businessy. I mean, the blank white page can be seen as pretty dry before the human touch arrives…
Yes! We can make magical moments out of anything 🙂
To contextualise what I’m doing here, recently, I have been inviting friends, artists and all-round interesting people to join me on a blank google doc for a written conversation in real time. I don’t know why I started it, I was just following through on my impulse to connect with people.
In the conversations that you and I have together, it feels a bit like this blank page; an intimate and unpredictable conversation that fully consumes me and takes us both on a journey somehow. I feel like we enter another portal together (and I know that’s how we’ve described it in the past).
I love portals! Let’s enter it!
We’re already in it right now! (Setting a 35 minute timer…)
Coooool!
It’s funny how when we put any level of expectation onto a situation - or expect a certain outcome - it can cut off the flow instantly. Do you remember during one of our many conversations at Katsute over a Matcha, we together came to the phrase, “high ambition, low expectation”?
Yes! I remember it vividly. It’s a constant exercise to bring it back to it. People and situations usually take us far away from this mantra. Then we start suffering or chase the things that look great on paper but don’t connect to our hearts anymore. That’s when I remember the mantra again. Something doesn’t feel quite right. And in fact it’s not. For us, regardless of what other people think or feel.
How do you know when you’re in “the flow state” for yourself?
There’s a sense of presence, like nothing else matters, and my attention mentally and bodily (does this word exist?) is 100% on that moment. Like a narrow vision but it’s deep, enjoyable and full of possibilities creatively.
Yes I feel you. The narrow vision is the concentration part I find, but concentrating [in that state of mind] doesn’t feel forced or even difficult. Although it can be difficult to concentrate - I sort of feel that that’s the power of following our interests as that connect us to the flow state, because we’re inspired to want to concentrate. Because we can’t get enough of whatever that is for us. Do you know what I mean?
I do. Exploring new things, learning, and expanding are all very exciting states too. But those often lead to distractions, then the mind starts wandering, doubt creeps in, the feeling of not being good enough invades the soul. That’s the opposite of flow. When I’m writing a song or in the studio making new sounds, all I care about is the “here and now”, so I ride the wave. Does it make sense?
Yes, it does. I’m curious about those times where you find yourself feeling distracted, full of self-doubt or not feeling good enough. How do you get yourself back on the surfboard and riding the wave? And I also want to acknowledge that this is one of things I love most about our conversations, we always seem to spiral around similar topics - bringing new perspectives and sharing our growing understanding of this mutual interest.
I love the analogy of waves and the surfboard. I never surfed, but paddle boarded the first time in the Aegean Sea in Greece last week. I felt a lot from the board! Until I managed to stay up and started enjoying it. Actually loving it. I had reached flow :)
To your question… I noticed recently that I pause to file my nails randomly in the middle of the day. It’s almost like a pattern break. I feel anxious, overwhelmed, in self-doubt. Then I break this with something that’s quite relaxing and soothing. Btw, a lot of new thoughts are coming to my mind now about something a therapist once told me, which I always remember.
I’m all ears!
He said that we have 3 emotional & mental systems (paraphrasing it, as I don’t recall the technical terms): our drive, threat and soothing systems. Society, our ambition, jobs, etc., usually reward us and push us to stay in the drive & threat. Dopamine & Cortisol. And we carve those roads in our brains so strongly that we can’t get out of this cycle. Until the moment we burnout, or get depressed, disconnected. The antidote: hugs, presence, love, nature, connection, oxytocin. These trigger our soothing system and put everything into balance again. I was like wow, this is fascinating!
🫂 It somehow seems so simple for us to activate that soothing state. But not in our business-oriented world I suppose. For me that soothing state is the artist state of mind. In order to create I cannot feel that threat or fear - it zaps that creativity. When you notice that you’re off of your paddle-board (so to speak), how do you get back on?
Absolutely! For me, it’s a constant battle to go back to the paddle-board. Being an entrepreneur in Drive & Threat for so many years gave me a lot of skills. BUT, I don’t need those anymore. Well, not when I’m in the artist state. How do I get back on? I’m learning. What I saw worked best so far was to pause, or take a shower, or change my settings. Like, get out of the home and go to Katsute for a Matcha. Re-connect to my body, essentially. Also, cloud-watching in London! Or if I’m in a hot or remote place, look up to the stars, feel the warmth of the sun, observe the waves. Oh! And dreams! I have the wildest recurring dreams. When I think about them, I relive those moments. It’s almost like a meditative state.
Wait, so you have a SERIES of recurring dreams or the same recurring dream?
I do! Kind of the same. I start flying, flapping my arms, going from the ground to up and up and flying through the clouds, sometimes flying in between skyscraping buildings. Then I fly dive into an immense blue ocean, coasting (is it the right word?), and not diving in, but flying back into the skies. It’s so vivid and deeply felt in my heart, I find it difficult to explain in words.
My heart is thumping in my chest. I’m almost in disbelief that you’re sharing this because a). I’ve had a similar dream - literally coasting over the sea and also flapping my wings and flying up! And b). You’ve almost word for word described the opening of the play you saw me in (Reverie)...! I don’t think we’d ever discussed this (I do remember you saying you resonated but not to this level of detail). “I’ve always had flying dreams, for as long as I can remember…”
Wow! You have those dreams too? Omg, I only shared them with a few people verbally. Can’t believe I never shared with you! That’s f*ing amazing. When I share it, people get very wow’d and verbally I can show my emotions in my eyes much better too. I feel they feel what I’m expressing. Now… with the Reverie, I couldn’t remember the lines, but totally, that’s probably why I connected with it so much. I love dreams and the whole alternative world we live/create every night. I sometimes wake up and wonder what’s really real.
Wow. So powerful. I am so pleased that this has come up for us to discuss! I just have to ask: what do you think those flying dreams mean for you? Do you think they’re trying to show you something?
Definitely. I cheated a few times and asked GPT (hand on my mouth emoji 🤭), but Freud and Jung were big-time into understanding dreams as a way to uncover our unconscious thoughts & feelings. So I tend to reflect on mine to uncover whatever it is in my unconscious that I still can’t see. Actually, someone once gave me a great analogy. You know when you look at a window with the light outside and you usually only see what’s outside? That’s our waking life. But when the lights turn-off, the window becomes a mirror and we see our reflection. Our reflection was always there, but we could not see it. That’s the same with our dreams. It’s all there, but we only access it when we sleep.
I LOVE THAT. And I have to ask… what did GPT say? How did GPT analyse your flying dream?
Hahah! It’s a veeeery long explanation. I’ll send you the link in private. Let’s keep the readers curious ;)
Haha! Okay. I wonder if the flying dreams mean different things for each of us, even if we were having the exact same dream (or at the very least, very similar)? I realise that’s also time by the way (it goes so fast no?) Before we close, I just have one final question (I actually have many, many more questions but hopefully we can talk here again sometime?)
Yes, let’s compare notes on our dreams! I’d loooove to.
Gee, so fast, it feels we’re just warming up… but hey we can chat IRL for hours in flow and forget about everything right ;)
Ask away! More next time, up for that for sure, this is fun!
Since the portal today took us both into the land of dreams, what is the dream that you currently hold in your heart right now? There’s no time pressure, but I’d love to hear it if you’d be willing to share it. An invitation to clarify for yourself and the forces-that-be. I’m genuinely curious.
This question just put tears in my eyes. I’ll try to answer. I dream of being an artist who moves people’s emotions through music, light, dance, all five senses. Being on stage surrounded by incredible human beings in the audience who feel something. Feel connected, feel seen, loved. And keep doing this more and more, all over the world. I buried my creativity and artistry under big ambition for such a long time. That made me lonely, disconnected, emotionless. And I feel there are thousands or maybe millions of people in the world who feel the same. They crave deep connection, and art can change that. If I can do it with my songs, lyrics, beats, vibes, visuals and be this little sunshine in people’s worlds, I’ll die happy. Dream became a reality. PS. Not sure if it all makes sense, I just typed what I felt…
Don’t doubt yourself. That was utterly beautiful, honest and you’re already making this dream a reality. You are so articulate. I can’t even believe that you’re writing this in your second language too. You’re, wow. A powerhouse. From BAFTA-winning entrepreneur to discovering yourself as an artist - I love you.
Now you really made me cry. You are such a catalyst! English being my second language does put that extra doubt in my mind. I love you very much, my friend. And I’m so happy we encountered each other in this brief lifetime amongst 8 billion people in the world.
I’m still horizontal in my bed right now, in my PJS on a Saturday afternoon having the (much needed) laziest morning. My palms are sweaty and my heart is BEAMING.
SAME!!
Okay I’m going to call you now.
[End of portal]
 | A guest post by
|
I love this.
I have flying dreams too.
It's my unconscious mind telling me to stop holding back. Just go for it.
I just need to figure out why I spent half my life ignoring that message.