My friendship with London
I did something radical. I unbooked my time, sat at my teak writing desk, and let time be mine. Time for myself. Time at home. Time to process, digest and archive my now.
Preparing for my stage performance in Reverie: A Dream of Autoimmunity this month at Cambridge Junction!
Image above: 'the house is in my head' (c) Holland / Poyzer, 2025
Image above: a messy desk and a messy insight into now.
And my time has equally been shared with reading redrafts of our film script and seeing Bruno progress so well as the writer of our upcoming feature.
I’ve been mentally - and physically - preparing for both roles.
Evolving our film character has been an intuitive and inquisitive process. Thanks to the support of my Character Based Improvisation coach Robert Marchand, I’ve been able to imagine and discover who this character is (who I’ll name as N for now - so not to jinx anything) prior to seeing the final film script. As Rob would say, “we’re quarantining the script so to speak, so that the life of your character exists in parallel with the story itself”.
As I’m going through my own life, I’m running questions and circumstances through the characters I’m preparing. My character Amber in Reverie: A Dream of Autoimmunity for instance might feel this way about that, her energy levels might be feeling around this mark in these circumstances, she might have had this reaction, or taken this action based on her decision.
The same for N, she’d walk at this pace, and dress this particular way. She wouldn’t be afraid to make eye contact with people - it’s part of her persona. She learned that it separates the timid from the courageous. A test of sorts. We also have some things in common, such as we both translate our emotions into hard work.
In my own life, I have been finding it hard to stay on top of communication. I’ve been thinking a lot about my friends and family but not having the quality time my heart also desires. I have been working so hard and doing my best to prioritise but this has meant that my free time has also been occupied.
I am certainly witnessing how precious our time is. The busier I am, the quicker time passes.
It’s a Sunday today and after renegotiating plans, I have secured a day with myself. I am enjoying this unexpected delight of sunshine, Spring - with her blue Morning Glory skies - is flirting with us. London is smiling.
I remember describing to my wonderful sunshine friend, Lucille how London to me is a character of sorts to me. London is the always-wired, wild child up for a good time. She’s fast-paced and quirky, and you love her. Even if she’s uncomfortable with down-time and being on her own. Being around London is a little (lottle) exhausting—and also expensive. She’s exhilarating too - all the ex-s. One night out and your bank account didn’t know what it had coming to it. My bank’s like, “Err?! What’s all of this disturbance, turbulence and spontaneous indulgence?!” Sort of joking, sort of not.
When I’m away from London, I miss her, which is what helped me to realise how much I love her and her creative energy. But I have had to renegotiate our relationship so that my needs are respected too. I need time to sit at my dear teak writing desk and reflect on what’s happening for me right now. I want to metabolise my learnings and carefully “brush” the surface like an archeologist during an excavation. And for this, I need time. Time for myself. Time at home. Time to digest, process and archive my experience through expression. Time to ponder, time to create, time to open myself up to being inspired.
I find myself inspired by people who have found creative ways to express their honest human experience and consciously living a life they desire.
Remember Louise, there will always be a tasklist that builds up as you tick off. But time is precious; alone time, together time and creative time. Keep it up, stay focused: the Athletic State of Mind. And, for the first time since you started, you wrote this entry without the support of a timer. This is progress!