What happens if we don’t overthink things and just write. That’s been my philosophy over the last month; done, not perfect.

I’ve been researching lots around the writing process. Mentoring lots. Reflecting lots. In writing terms I have been going through the Dark Night of the Soul; like a painful shedding of the snakeskin I’ve been wearing - the Year of the Horse is calling.

Heart rate pounding as time pressure ensues.

Heart rate pounding also because I’m sat on a flight that I didn’t foresee myself sitting on a couple of weeks back and following an impulse into the unknown.

Heart rate pounding - am I oversharing?

Maybe I don’t have enough time to tell you about “my month with God” but that was the article I started drafting and didn’t complete.

“The Dark Night of the Soul is a critical plot beat occurring near the end of Act Two, where the hero faces absolute defeat, despair, and the loss of everything they valued after the "All is Lost" moment. It forces them to confront their deepest flaws, internalize the consequences of their actions, and find the inner strength needed for the final transformation in Act Three.”

I’m trusting more than ever in my process. My trust in the process feels directly linked to my trust in myself. I believe that everything that happens to us, happens for us. This has been the lesson over and over and over.

This time, I’m ready for my Act Three.

Ready for takeoff.

🛫

Be the kindest you can be.

You must build yourself a safe foundation; Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Protect your rest and creative time. At all costs.

Side effects: this can be extremely costly - you may not see your friends, take holidays, have as much sleep, rest or many days off but you know this is to prepare you for what’s to come.

Your upcoming leap.

Your next lobster shell for your expansive self.

Your lighter, connected, ready, miracle-making self.

When you believe and trust in life (yourself), life trusts in you.

How ready are you for its arrival? The arrival of your heart’s desires.

When your dream life arrives, how do you sustain it?

When you receive such magic, the generosity must be shared - otherwise your filament will blow.

We are vessels.

The amount we desire, is the amount we can receive.

“When you believe it, then you can receive it” the slogan that often visits my conversations with friends.

Our vessels expansion is how we grow as artists.

As learned from Christy Dena - if you develop the artist, you develop all of their creations.

A post-it note with “CLING TO YOURSELF LIKE A LIFE JACKET”, written about an hour and a half ago, is looking back at me. I think it’s because whilst our hungry ambition is undeniable, to cling is to tighten, wrap itself around - even to suffocate - and our creative process, our light, our expansion requires the opposite. To surrender. It turns out if you relax and just breathe you can float.

High ambition, low expectation

Surrender and trust in your natural, creative process.

You will receive what you’re ready for. If it comes, you are ready.

Don’t be afraid of the dark.

Obstacles are opportunities of expansion.

Grow through the pain. Metabolise.

{OBSTACLE} What can I learn from this? What behaviour might I need to change?

And screenwriter Phoebe Ephron was right. “Everything is copy”. She believed that life only hands you material that you can use in your work.

Artists are those who have found truths about themselves, about being alive, about the human experience and then found ways to express it.

Shared with love.

Love letter to desk pending…

The Wounded Healer

Conversation with Louise

My continuing occasional series of conversations, this time with Louise Kim Salter, someone I have collaborated with before and whose own Substack you can find here…

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4 months ago · 3 likes · Jason Brooker

More on Maslow's HON Here

You find yourself walking a path that feels good because you’ve brought things that bring you joy into your present.

As I sat in the theatre foyer at Hoopla! HQ in London Bridge, I found myself again noting to self, “life is a struggle, yes, but oh for God’s sake, (it’s not blasphemous if it feels true), why are we not enjoying every waking moment being our-full-100%-selves?” How delightful it feels to swim in the warm shores of self”.

I’ve spent so much of my life down-playing and de-Louise-ing myself. Reducing, repressing, diminishing myself so that I could fit in - like clunky, stiff flat-packed furniture, taking extra care as I bolted on extra screws of people pleasing and reducing my literal volume.

But alas, the path of acting has once again saved me, (as it has done in many ways); the work I do through the Meisner technique alone, (you can read about the most surreal and memorable acting exercise I’ve experienced to date here), enforces that an actor must learn how to remove their own mask in order to be able to adopt the mask of another (unless perhaps surrealism is what you’re going for).

As someone who has been somewhat obsessed with the artist’s process over the last 5 years, I have come to the realisation that the more you uncover and embrace the ancient roots of who you are, the sooner you arrive to being an artist in the truest sense.

You can listen to my conversations with various artists here (on Apple, Spotify, or via our Slowcooked Productions website). In them, I explore the question, “What does it mean to be an artist?” prompting discussions that dig into the rich soil at the bottom of their being, as I seek to uncover who they are as artists, as much as what the “artist’s state of mind” might look like.

I’ve often looked ahead and imagined the future-future me, and the only wish she seems to ask for is that we live with no regrets.

So perhaps you’d like to join me on this journey?

It’s not an easy path but that’s because, I believe, it’s there for us to earn it. So we can harvest the reward of being ourselves - a wholesome, personalised hamper that’s available to all.

I suppose now is as good as time as any to share a video I recorded last year on an incredible, miracle-brimming trip to Iceland - it happened to be Solstice and radiating with light around the clock. It also happened to be the informal wrap party of the King & Conqueror cast and crew and I had popped home because I had felt this need to express something, I didn’t know what exactly, but something was bubbling up inside me. Without overthinking, I set my Grandad’s 00s panasonic camera on top of the kitchen surface aimed towards the table and chair where I’d be sitting and pressed record:

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P.S. this week I started a Creative Process 💫 channel on Instagram which is an extension of my own creative practice. It’s my way of sharing more of the inspiration that comes my way and an invitation for you to reflect and share your thoughts for our individual and collective growth as artists.

Love from,

Louise Kim Salter (full name for full self)

The realisation came one quiet morning at the ever-enchanting Madingley Hall, with condensation softening the morning light. I suddenly thought of that unhurried school friend — the one who never seemed quite ready when the rest of us were already out the door, buzzing with urgency. We, the fast ones, prided ourselves on efficiency (I can only imagine how frustrating that must have been to those who “took their time”).

But as I lay atop my bed, hair wrapped in a towel taking my sweet time post-bath this morning, I realised something. There’s a secret world that lives inside of these in-between moments. Slowing down isn’t laziness. It’s presence. It’s how we come back into rhythm with ourselves. It’s where our thoughts are waiting patiently for us to find them.

I’m learning to live at the speed that lets me meet myself along the way.

Greetings from the space in-between,

Lou-ease.

I’m realising that I’ve never been one to think much about the past. But I think reflecting on even the recent past can provide you with context to where you’re going and how far you’ve come.

My modus operandi has been to go go go. Don’t look back, keep going. And to a large extent it’s worked but there’s a part of me that I have also been excluding.

This year, in particular, things have accelerated. I’ve been full steam ahead. The year we made our feature film. This year I had my biggest role to date on stage and screen.

After so many years of grafting, I was beginning to wonder whether it would ever happen. But it did. And I’ve been sharing with my friends this week that I haven’t stopped to process, digest nor FATHOM what we’ve achieved. Maybe, just maybe, there may be a little opening within myself to let some of the past into my present and let Nostalgia (with a capital N) have her moment. She’s been here all along, waiting in the wings, but I have been avoiding her - not wanting to be slowed or pulled down. But isn’t being present about acknowledging all that’s here?

Funnily enough this image Tori Hitchens (you can read about our recent conversation here) and I created out of spontaneity and passion, reflects how I’ve been feeling. Like in this image, I’ve been losing my head a bit. With so much happening and unprocessed joyful memories, I haven’t MADE the time to unpack. Maybe now is the time to take stock.

I have been living through the best year of my life - not the easiest nor the most comfortable by any means, and I lost a very close family member that spun my heart into knots - but I think it’s time to allow myself to open the treasure chest, reconnect with what has been and allow the memories - that past Louise dreamed of - to fully develop.

Interestingly - as I was writing this post, out of the corner of my eye I spotted the framed rooster on my wall (and saw the similarities to the black and white image I shared with you above). I wake up each morning and look at this rooster but never before wondered why he’s standing on one leg. Google’s search seems only to want to reveal to me the significance of the “Golden Rooster on one leg” Tai Chi posture, which according to "Balanced Life Tai Chi the rooster symbolises enlightenment and the Golden Rooster practice “teaches us to root, balance, and how to relax our muscles as we strengthen our bones”.

Learning how to relax as we strengthen our bones. I couldn’t help but feel there’s a hidden message in this. After all, if we don’t learn to relax then our physical, emotional and spiritual efforts might just pull a muscle and force us to slow down.

Okay, message received loud and clear.

Thank you

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Photo by Wanda Martin

Makeup & Hair by Mikaela Honeywill

Styled by Laura Parkes

Featuring the iconic Tracey Neuls HIGHLANDER classics

The film industry suggests we can’t. Actors must be “actors only” unless you’ve made a name for yourself, in which case - “wow, that’s impressive”. I’ve been told on multiple occasions that I should “only be an actor”. If that’s what I want to do, (which it is), I should not write or direct or god forbid produce. Just act. The industry (unless you have a name - either through birth or you’ve made one for yourself) cannot compute the concept that you can do both and so that’s that.

Well, I’m sorry to say [dear industry] that I/we, am/are capable of all we put our mind to and not just that, but for some of us - who were not born into the industry with a pre-paved pathway and plethora of contacts (it’s not what you know…) - we’ve had to take matters into our own hands…

As an actor, who knows that acting is their chosen craft, if one doesn’t immediately have doors opening for us, (I mean fair enough, they’re yet to know who you are and what you’re capable of) then how can you reasonably assume that it’s possible for us to sit around idle, waiting for someone to hand us our dream career, letting our fire burn us on the inside - no! The energy of desire and passion is a forward acceleration; you might not always know where you’re headed but taking action creates momentum and importantly feedback - did you enjoy this experience? did you meet people who were aligned with you (or not)? what did you learn in this process of doing - about who you are as an artist, storyteller or individual?

I will always be grateful for film festivals. Without them, I don’t know how I would have entered the industry.

I remembering the first film festival I’d ever attended, I was so green in the industry I didn’t even know that others existed other than the Rob Knox Film Festival in Bexley which was my local.

I stepped my foot through the doors of Cineworld Bexleyheath and began taking my first steps inside of an event full of people who are open to conversing about film and also have a reason to be there. I was so excited to “be in the room” that I came away with a deck full of business cards and emails that I would promptly follow up with the next day.

I continued turning up each year and in 2013, I was asked to host at the festival which was, as I saw it, a brilliant opportunity because it put me in the spotlight, making it easier for others to then come and talk to me afterwards - networking mission accomplished! One of those people who I connected with was a film producer who had a small film production company that was working on surprisingly big and reputable projects. They’d had a part in an Emmy-nominated series and they had just finished a feature project that was distributed by Universal.

I naturally was eager to ask him if there were any roles on his upcoming projects that I could get involved with and to my surprise he said (words to the effect of), “no, but I have something else in mind. Have you considered producing?”

“Producing? No I haven’t, because I’m an actor” I said. I wonder if the industry was beaming at my narrow-mindedness. “Yes, but why can’t you do both?” he replied.

It just so happened that they had a space open up at their then 2-man-company for a junior producer. This producer had seen that I was networking my little heart out and saw how that could translate somehow into the skill set a producer would share.

And alas my first professional producing job role was born. I was a Junior Producer (title case now for extra pizazz) learning all about how to make a film. It just so happened that they had a feature film project on their development slate that during my time there, that through hard work they managed to finance and co-produce with Italy and take into production. As in the in-house actor, I was paired to read with auditioning actors, I was even part of informal script reading workshops where I was helping to shape dialogue with my character instincts and whilst it was certainly not a given, I had the pleasure of auditioning for the role of Kesha (I remember my brother helped me film my self tape) and as the feature film entered production, I stepped up as Assistant Producer on my first feature and had my acting role opposite BAFTA-nominated Kierston Wareing and Nick Moran.

This project literally showed me I could do more than one role - and not compromise on the quality of either.

So then after this experience, I started to exploring other acting roles and supporting projects with my learned producing skills. But I was holding back on solely producing my own film, because I wanted to ensure that, when I created my own film, it would be the right story at the right time - something that I could give 100% to and put my foot so hard down on the accelerator we’d need seatbelts for the ride.

And that’s where How to be Human came in…

It’s natural, I’m sure about that, that fear inevitably creeps into the life of a creative - into everyone’s life. It plays its role, I get that. It’s there to protect us and I believe, it’s there to project us forward - the slingshot analogy comes to mind again.

There’s a lot of change happening for me right now. It’s a lot to process and I realise that I’m only able to recognise the fear I’ve been facing because yesterday I decided (again, it’s a recurring process) to surrender my own plan of what I think my life should be in order to make way for the life that’s meant for me - the one that fulfils me way more than my own limited, controlling belief of what I think is possible.

We can’t always (or perhaps ever) see or know the Bigger Picture Plan of our lives but I’m choosing to believe that life is unfolding FOR us. Fear can trap us into thinking that what comes to us is working against us, but it’s a practice, “the inner game” as W. Timothy Gallwey puts it.

Imagine this: everything that happens to us, happens FOR our benefit and growth. If I’m able to recognise this and trust that there is a bigger picture at play, then whatever I receive in this moment is preparing me and readying me for the next. And when it happens, it’s happening because you’re ready - because YOU’VE GOT THIS. “What’s meant for you will never pass you by” - the old adage to calm our qualms.

I also fundamentally believe that there’s a reason that you get joy from certain things (and not from others) and why other people loathe what you love and vice versa. There’s a reason why my passion for acting and connecting deeply with others is unshakable (at this stage it doesn’t even feel like a choice).

Trust* that life is bringing the opportunities that you need right now in order to be able to receive the life that will fulfil you. Kabbalistic Astrologer, Ruth Nahmias taught me that we should be mindful of our desires because in the moment that we desire something, we will receive THE PROCESS that will lead us to towards it.

*that’s the challenge, but peace of mind is the reward

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Styled by Laura Parkes

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WUNDER BETA a.k.a Beta Lucca

I’ve known Beta for almost a decade and she’s always felt like a soul sister to me. She describes herself as belonging to “the world of immigrants of identity, wonder-seekers and overthinking achievers” and in the last couple of years has dedicated herself to bringing about connection, closeness and wunder through her live performances and original Electro-Bossa music.

Beyond the accolades (and there are many — BAFTA-winning studios, wearable art at the V&A, features in Forbes and BBC News), what has always stood out to me is Roberta’s spirit. She leads by following her curiosity and invites the rest of us to do the same.

I hope you enjoy reading where this unscripted conversation took us!

To differentiate between speakers, Louise’s dialogue is in italics, whilst her guest, WUNDER BETA is like so.

“I dream of being an artist who moves people’s emotions through music, light, dance, all five senses. Being on stage surrounded by incredible human beings in the audience who feel something. Feel connected, feel seen, loved.”

You’re here!!

Yess! Made it 🙂

Whilst your laptop was loading, I started reflecting on what this (Living with Louise exploration) is. Truthfully it’s not very well defined but I also think that’s okay. Like a sketchbook with light-pencil drawings as opposed to well-honed paintings…

Got it! So funny, I went to a show at the Jazz Cafe yesterday to see a Brazilian artist I love. At some point he invited us all to think of his show as if we were in his bedroom, on (in?) an intimate situation. Just like this. Transform an environment that’s not intimate into one.

Yes, I think you’re right there. Google docs are usually quite dry and businessy. I mean, the blank white page can be seen as pretty dry before the human touch arrives…

Yes! We can make magical moments out of anything 🙂

To contextualise what I’m doing here, recently, I have been inviting friends, artists and all-round interesting people to join me on a blank google doc for a written conversation in real time. I don’t know why I started it, I was just following through on my impulse to connect with people.

In the conversations that you and I have together, it feels a bit like this blank page; an intimate and unpredictable conversation that fully consumes me and takes us both on a journey somehow. I feel like we enter another portal together (and I know that’s how we’ve described it in the past).

I love portals! Let’s enter it!

We’re already in it right now! (Setting a 35 minute timer…)

Coooool!

It’s funny how when we put any level of expectation onto a situation - or expect a certain outcome - it can cut off the flow instantly. Do you remember during one of our many conversations at Katsute over a Matcha, we together came to the phrase, “high ambition, low expectation”?

Yes! I remember it vividly. It’s a constant exercise to bring it back to it. People and situations usually take us far away from this mantra. Then we start suffering or chase the things that look great on paper but don’t connect to our hearts anymore. That’s when I remember the mantra again. Something doesn’t feel quite right. And in fact it’s not. For us, regardless of what other people think or feel.

How do you know when you’re in “the flow state” for yourself?

There’s a sense of presence, like nothing else matters, and my attention mentally and bodily (does this word exist?) is 100% on that moment. Like a narrow vision but it’s deep, enjoyable and full of possibilities creatively.

Yes I feel you. The narrow vision is the concentration part I find, but concentrating [in that state of mind] doesn’t feel forced or even difficult. Although it can be difficult to concentrate - I sort of feel that that’s the power of following our interests as that connect us to the flow state, because we’re inspired to want to concentrate. Because we can’t get enough of whatever that is for us. Do you know what I mean?

I do. Exploring new things, learning, and expanding are all very exciting states too. But those often lead to distractions, then the mind starts wandering, doubt creeps in, the feeling of not being good enough invades the soul. That’s the opposite of flow. When I’m writing a song or in the studio making new sounds, all I care about is the “here and now”, so I ride the wave. Does it make sense?

Yes, it does. I’m curious about those times where you find yourself feeling distracted, full of self-doubt or not feeling good enough. How do you get yourself back on the surfboard and riding the wave? And I also want to acknowledge that this is one of things I love most about our conversations, we always seem to spiral around similar topics - bringing new perspectives and sharing our growing understanding of this mutual interest.

I love the analogy of waves and the surfboard. I never surfed, but paddle boarded the first time in the Aegean Sea in Greece last week. I felt a lot from the board! Until I managed to stay up and started enjoying it. Actually loving it. I had reached flow :)

To your question… I noticed recently that I pause to file my nails randomly in the middle of the day. It’s almost like a pattern break. I feel anxious, overwhelmed, in self-doubt. Then I break this with something that’s quite relaxing and soothing. Btw, a lot of new thoughts are coming to my mind now about something a therapist once told me, which I always remember.

I’m all ears!

He said that we have 3 emotional & mental systems (paraphrasing it, as I don’t recall the technical terms): our drive, threat and soothing systems. Society, our ambition, jobs, etc., usually reward us and push us to stay in the drive & threat. Dopamine & Cortisol. And we carve those roads in our brains so strongly that we can’t get out of this cycle. Until the moment we burnout, or get depressed, disconnected. The antidote: hugs, presence, love, nature, connection, oxytocin. These trigger our soothing system and put everything into balance again. I was like wow, this is fascinating!

🫂 It somehow seems so simple for us to activate that soothing state. But not in our business-oriented world I suppose. For me that soothing state is the artist state of mind. In order to create I cannot feel that threat or fear - it zaps that creativity. When you notice that you’re off of your paddle-board (so to speak), how do you get back on?

Absolutely! For me, it’s a constant battle to go back to the paddle-board. Being an entrepreneur in Drive & Threat for so many years gave me a lot of skills. BUT, I don’t need those anymore. Well, not when I’m in the artist state. How do I get back on? I’m learning. What I saw worked best so far was to pause, or take a shower, or change my settings. Like, get out of the home and go to Katsute for a Matcha. Re-connect to my body, essentially. Also, cloud-watching in London! Or if I’m in a hot or remote place, look up to the stars, feel the warmth of the sun, observe the waves. Oh! And dreams! I have the wildest recurring dreams. When I think about them, I relive those moments. It’s almost like a meditative state.

Wait, so you have a SERIES of recurring dreams or the same recurring dream?

I do! Kind of the same. I start flying, flapping my arms, going from the ground to up and up and flying through the clouds, sometimes flying in between skyscraping buildings. Then I fly dive into an immense blue ocean, coasting (is it the right word?), and not diving in, but flying back into the skies. It’s so vivid and deeply felt in my heart, I find it difficult to explain in words.

My heart is thumping in my chest. I’m almost in disbelief that you’re sharing this because a). I’ve had a similar dream - literally coasting over the sea and also flapping my wings and flying up! And b). You’ve almost word for word described the opening of the play you saw me in (Reverie)...! I don’t think we’d ever discussed this (I do remember you saying you resonated but not to this level of detail). “I’ve always had flying dreams, for as long as I can remember…”

Wow! You have those dreams too? Omg, I only shared them with a few people verbally. Can’t believe I never shared with you! That’s f*ing amazing. When I share it, people get very wow’d and verbally I can show my emotions in my eyes much better too. I feel they feel what I’m expressing. Now… with the Reverie, I couldn’t remember the lines, but totally, that’s probably why I connected with it so much. I love dreams and the whole alternative world we live/create every night. I sometimes wake up and wonder what’s really real.

Wow. So powerful. I am so pleased that this has come up for us to discuss! I just have to ask: what do you think those flying dreams mean for you? Do you think they’re trying to show you something?

Definitely. I cheated a few times and asked GPT (hand on my mouth emoji 🤭), but Freud and Jung were big-time into understanding dreams as a way to uncover our unconscious thoughts & feelings. So I tend to reflect on mine to uncover whatever it is in my unconscious that I still can’t see. Actually, someone once gave me a great analogy. You know when you look at a window with the light outside and you usually only see what’s outside? That’s our waking life. But when the lights turn-off, the window becomes a mirror and we see our reflection. Our reflection was always there, but we could not see it. That’s the same with our dreams. It’s all there, but we only access it when we sleep.

I LOVE THAT. And I have to ask… what did GPT say? How did GPT analyse your flying dream?

Hahah! It’s a veeeery long explanation. I’ll send you the link in private. Let’s keep the readers curious ;)

Haha! Okay. I wonder if the flying dreams mean different things for each of us, even if we were having the exact same dream (or at the very least, very similar)? I realise that’s also time by the way (it goes so fast no?) Before we close, I just have one final question (I actually have many, many more questions but hopefully we can talk here again sometime?)

1. Yes, let’s compare notes on our dreams! I’d loooove to.

2. Gee, so fast, it feels we’re just warming up… but hey we can chat IRL for hours in flow and forget about everything right ;)

3. Ask away! More next time, up for that for sure, this is fun!

Since the portal today took us both into the land of dreams, what is the dream that you currently hold in your heart right now? There’s no time pressure, but I’d love to hear it if you’d be willing to share it. An invitation to clarify for yourself and the forces-that-be. I’m genuinely curious.

This question just put tears in my eyes. I’ll try to answer. I dream of being an artist who moves people’s emotions through music, light, dance, all five senses. Being on stage surrounded by incredible human beings in the audience who feel something. Feel connected, feel seen, loved. And keep doing this more and more, all over the world. I buried my creativity and artistry under big ambition for such a long time. That made me lonely, disconnected, emotionless. And I feel there are thousands or maybe millions of people in the world who feel the same. They crave deep connection, and art can change that. If I can do it with my songs, lyrics, beats, vibes, visuals and be this little sunshine in people’s worlds, I’ll die happy. Dream became a reality. PS. Not sure if it all makes sense, I just typed what I felt…

Don’t doubt yourself. That was utterly beautiful, honest and you’re already making this dream a reality. You are so articulate. I can’t even believe that you’re writing this in your second language too. You’re, wow. A powerhouse. From BAFTA-winning entrepreneur to discovering yourself as an artist - I love you.

Now you really made me cry. You are such a catalyst! English being my second language does put that extra doubt in my mind. I love you very much, my friend. And I’m so happy we encountered each other in this brief lifetime amongst 8 billion people in the world.

I’m still horizontal in my bed right now, in my PJS on a Saturday afternoon having the (much needed) laziest morning. My palms are sweaty and my heart is BEAMING.

SAME!!

Okay I’m going to call you now.

[End of portal]

I first reached out to Tori on Friday, 28 March 2025 after hearing wonderful things about her work. Thankfully, this led to an instantaneous connection and three meaningful collabs to date (and counting): The first a photoshoot with the incredible photographer Wanda Martin; the second on our feature film Darker Days in which I play the role of Nancy; And most recently, last Thursday, we created some high-contrast black and white magic under the dramatic Blackheath skies.

To differentiate between speakers, Louise’s dialogue is in italics, whilst her guest, Tori Hitchens is like so.

Saturday, 30 Aug 18:00

Tori, you’re here! Welcome to the space! The blank page!

Thank you for inviting me to the blank page! I am curious about this process!

When was the last time you interacted with someone in this way? Q&A-wise? Or interview?

Never!

GREAT. Lucky me. Okay I’m going to set a 35 minute timer, other than that - there are no rules or restrictions - it’s an open and unscripted convo, no agenda from my side. That’s partly the experimental part.

Thanks - it reminds me of MSN messenger

Those were the days. Those “nudges” were quite violent though, do you remember them?

Yes and also the idea of branding yourself with status, names, fonts and emojis was really quite something. Thrilling times!

All I’m going to say is: “Lo0uiiseEe”…

XD

35 minute timer set.

Actually, following on from what you just said - bringing us into our early years - did you always know that you wanted to be a costume designer / costumier (delete as appropriate!)?

I was not always interested in clothing. I started off drawing and making objects with my grandad that we found on the beach. I think clothes came into the equation in my teenage years.

I’m drawn into these memories with your grandad! Was he leading the adventures on the beach or was he following your desire?

I think he was possibly showing me interesting and fun ways to kill time and use my brain. I guess I was led by him in the early years!

Can you remember something that you made together?

The first thing that comes to mind is a hobby horse made from driftwood and pampas grass.

Was there anything that you learned then that can still be applied to the work you create now?

I guess the main takeaway from those experiences is creatively thinking about what a found object can be. I think that shows through in the ways I prefer altering existing garments, as opposed to making from scratch.

That really comes across. When I first met you, I felt in awe of the appreciation you had for fabrics, clothing and texture - fabrics as paint. Does all of this stem d’you think from those early experiences, or were there other interest-defining moments for you?

Thank you. I grew up around lowkey creative people - musicians and artists. When I look at my formative years I think that people leaned in [to me] with craft activities. I remember my mum and her friend making marbled paper art in the back garden - which was then framed and hung around the house, my nana sewing, going to band practices with family friends. It all adds up in little ways.

That brought warmth to my heart. That is a very wholesome picture you’ve just painted. Remind me, where did you grow up?

For sure there were some pretty wholesome times! I grew up in Wales.

What was the landscape and your neighbourhood like?

My neighbourhood was a small housing estate - semi rural. My mates/cousins and I would play in the surrounding woodland. It was a really stimulating environment for imagination and games playing. Quite lucky to have freedom to play in nature! Sidenote - I wish this conversation was a bit more two sided - can it be?! I am curious about your environment growing up.

Of course! There are no rules remember! My environment growing up… I grew up in a small suburban town called Crayford in South East London - on the border of Kent; a little rough around the edges. What really was a highlight of my childhood though is that my parents had a rather rustic house in rural France with a couple of acres of land. This is where I felt most free and connected to my wildchild nature; think dried grass in hair and muddy-everything. My brother and I would role play with plastic Sainbury’s bags looped on our shoulders holding large twigs for arrows or we’d ride around on my dad’s red tractor. Also interacting with the French neighbours was a pivotal experience for me to connect with people from a different culture & language.

During our school summer holidays, I was about 6-7 years old and our teachers gave us homework to complete; create a diary, or scrapbook that you can share with the class upon your return and tell each other about the summer holiday you had. This was the first scrapbook I remember making and it even had dried tobacco leaves from the neighbour’s tobacco farm inside.

I really connect with the part of your childhood spent in France. The best thing about formative years spent in nature was getting messy and being blissfully unaware of personal presentation! Embracing all weathers and finding places to shelter in the rain, etc.

One of my best memories was having a mud fight with the neighbours and just feeling so free! When I arrived back home, my mum was so happy - we laughed the whole time the bath was running as she pulled clumps of mud from my hair.

Your mum sounds wonderful. Not every mum would have that reaction.

I know - my nana would have been fuming.

I wanted to pick up on something you just said, “being blissfully unaware of personal presentation”. This is interesting because is your craft not directly related to being aware of presentation?

My craft now involves understanding what characters would be aware of in their personal presentation. Or what an audience can deduce from a character based on their presentation.

Interesting. What are the other considerations you take into account from a character perspective in your process? What’s your process of understanding characters?

This is actually quite a big question. There are basic considerations relating to socio-economics, place, interests/hobbies/career etc. The framework in which someone exists in society and the cross sections of these factors. Then you have to get into their character arc - and apply their mental state to their presentation.

For example, with Nancy her character has a significant emotional and reality shift. I designed her to at first in the “real” world have on her professional ‘armour’ - for that we decided she would be in a bad-ass suit, before softening her silhouette to highlight her inner world being exposed by the puzzles of the past being brought to the front of her life again. Does that make sense?

Yes, that makes perfect sense. I found the costume process so enriching for my process as an actor. The questions you were asking were intertwining with my own character development.

I also remember the moment when - after various experiments and adaptations - I tried on her boots. The support of those boots and how they directly connected with my internalisation of Nancy was felt immediately. And the decision we made for Nancy to only wear one pair of boots throughout the whole film. That felt like a bold and honest character choice.

By the way, the timer has gone off. Would you like to continue?

I am happy to continue! I remember how many conversations we had about who Nancy was, and it was important to get right. Her emotional back catalogue that led her to be the person we meet initially in the film was a really fun one to work out. I very much enjoyed the collaborative process and the time we took to make her real!

This may be a longer and perhaps a separate conversation at some point but I’m genuinely intrigued to hear about your experience with working on Darker Days (our working title feature film).

I’d be happy to talk about it any time! What a blessing to be invited to design a London-born and based project that has so much scope in the narrative!

Would you feel comfortable expanding on that?

Certainly! As someone who has considered London home since 2016, I don’t know if I could think of anything more cool than a project exploring narratives surrounding family, heritage, supernatural occurrences and weird cults - made by Londoners, in London.

Ha! Smiling wide here.

As my first feature film - I cannot believe I got to explore “real” life, creepy cult figures and play about with masks. I have to share with you some images of the making of the masks too. SO MUCH FUN.

That got me feeling very excited - and also proud of what we accomplished.

Mate it is mad. I haven’t even seen a cut yet, but the ambition was high. Are you happy with what you have seen in the edit?

It’s very hard to watch myself on screen, I have to be honest. I really try my hardest to remove myself from the work (so challenging) and when I’ve been successful at that, I have really enjoyed seeing it come together. Watching the “rough cut” was a memory in itself - and it’s really not very rough at all. Bruno and Neto have done an incredible job - and we’re still to add the visual effects, grade, music and sound design yet - which all are contributing in their own ways to the story.

It is understandable - I cringe when I see myself on camera. Because you had a dual responsibility on this job as a Producer as well, I guess it is important to hone the skill of pragmatic evaluation across the film as a product.

Interestingly, on this, I know that if the story is well told, then it’ll be supporting our performances. We’ve done the best we can to create the story material and now it’s about ensuring a) the story is being told in the most entertaining and enjoyable way possible and b) that you care for the characters and there is empathy for the audience to connect with. Those are the questions I have been asking myself in this process at present.

What are you most looking forward to seeing when you watch the film?

I am looking forward to seeing all of the realms intersect; between Nancy’s professional world, her private world, and the cult space, and all the uncanny characters within it. Because stylistically everything was exaggerated, I am looking forward to seeing how all of the departments intermingle on the screen too.

This is an unsophisticated segue but I want to talk about last Thursday!

Ooooh ye

So, I came over to yours and learned that you not only are a fabulous and talented costumier but you are a photographer too.

Hahah - I am a little shy of this recent development, but over the past 9/10 months I have been building mini-worlds for characters and for myself to explore. I wanted to engage with other aspects of creative direction. Usually each shoot has a hero piece of clothing, or a piece of research behind it.

By dressing and photographing people in a low-key way where we have fun; hopefully there’s not too much pressure on who is in front of the camera.

Before our photoshoot, I’d been listening to doom metal, and wanted to explore more darkwave photography. I decided to obscure the costume by dressing you rather elegantly as opposed to being in leather or denim (materials I’d typically associate with the metal scene), and decided to put you in a vintage New Look gold lurex dress!

The sky was a paid actor that night.

We were lucky with the sky! But I also felt we were open to whatever the elements. If it had started snowing or storming, I feel we would have run with it. I thought our relaxed attitude to the whole shoot made me feel like it was all about the process and the photos are this incredible bonus.

Yes, I think that the elements become another player in the game - no matter what they bring. It’s another feature.

I think I like the process of play - showing up as ourselves and creating in the moment.

As much as the work looks serious or creepy, it is all theatre really.

I like to call it “no agenda joymaking”

It’s exactly that.

Are you familiar with Julia Cameron and her concept “Artist Dates”

NO

DID YOU JUST SHOUT THAT IN YOUR HEAD?

Yeah - like WTF i want that!

In her book The Artist’s Way Julia Cameron talks about the benefit of dedicating time once a week to going somewhere or doing something that will inspire you. Our experiment on Thursday for me, could be classified as an Artist Date.

Ah, I think it’s a vital thing to do.

You get joy from the process (we laughed a lot - I always laugh a lot when I’m photographing people), and the results are often surprising.

I enjoyed how you took to the grunge aspect and ran with it.

It’s been a pleasure. Long may the collaboration & friendship continue. This is maybe a perfect way to conclude (for now), to be continued…?

Yeah bbe!

<3

Photo by Wanda Martin

Makeup & Hair by Mikaela Honeywill

Styled by Tori Hitchens

Following on from my previous conversation with psychotherapist Jason Brooker, this conversation with Fraser Grace is the next installment of my Living with Louise experiment.

Without further ado…

Fraser Grace is the author of ten stageplays, including Breakfast with Mugabe, winner of the Arts Council’s John Whiting Award for Best Play. It was first produced by the Royal Shakespeare Company, and later broadcast on BBC Radio 3 and the World Service. Now in its 20th anniversary year, the play is currently running at the Market Theatre Johannesburg.

He is currently a Senior Teaching Associate at the University of Cambridge, co-directing the Masters’ programme in Writing for Performance. (Biography from the very site that you can purchase Fraser’s most recently published book, Firestarter).

To differentiate between speakers, Louise’s dialogue is in italics, whilst her guest, Fraser Grace is in regular text.

Hi Fraser! There’s something quite freeing about writing as you think it and seeing the other person type out their thoughts in real time…

Hello Hello!

Hi !—---

35 minute timer - set!

Go go go!

Perhaps I’ll start by welcoming you here! That’s maybe a good place to start. I appreciate you’re very busy!

And very conventional!

True. Maybe I should immediately break away from that, let’s head into unconventional territory.

Ha. Yeah why not. I think this is going to find out my typing skills - or lack thereof.

No paper has been wasted in this process, no pressure. I’d actually like to dive straight in (if you don’t mind) and get to know more about how/why you became a writer. When did you make this decision in your life?

Oooh not sure there was anything as calculated as a decision - it was the thing i could do at school. That all began with reading. There were always books in the house, but never for very long - my parents used the library a lot. When we were going away on holiday a big cardboard box would appear at the bottom of the stairs, and we were told - 4 kids - to put any books we wanted to take into it. Good parenting psychology I reckon! Of course we were all desperate to have our books in there.

That is a very wholesome insight into your childhood. Which books do you remember popping in the box?

Ha ha. Two stick out. We didn’t have a library in the village where we lived (in Derbyshire) - but a van would come round. I remember the day i chose ‘The Hobbit’ - green, blue and white cover. We always went to a caravan in Norfolk. I remember sitting inside with rain pouring down, hoping it would rain again the next day so i could read a bit more ‘Watership Down.’

You can’t see it of course, but I have a wide smile on my face. That is such a sweet memory. How old do you reckon you would have been at the time?

About eight or nine i reckon - maybe a bit older.

Do you remember when and where you were when you realised that being a writer was an ACTUAL THING. A career.

Hmmm - i always wrote stories and things - then when i got to university (first in family ever to do such a thing) - i was supposed to be studying sociology, but within a week had fallen among actors and started writing for them. BINGO! A whole new future suggested itself.

Wow. Firstly, same when it comes to going to university. Secondly, I love that meeting actors is what had a steer on your trajectory. Tell me more about this please! How did it all happen? Where did you start?!

We quickly developed a little core group that were really serious about doing this stuff, so i was always writing for actors that i knew (including myself). I suppose what i loved about theatre was the same thing i loved about the books i liked - both immersed you in other worlds, and the fun was seeing what happened.

Sounds like freedom to me.

How about your acting; was it escape, or trying out alternatives? What was the buzz for you?

What it started out as and what it developed into are ever-so-slightly different things. I suppose my love for the craft has deepened. I’ll explain. To begin with, it was escape. It was an escape from the clock that used to tick so slowly in any class that didn’t require some form of immersion (i.e. theatre, physical education, public speaking on the school council, being in the playground and helping people to make friends with each other). It was my ticket to freedom - I couldn’t do anything wrong in drama. It was the place that accepted my weirdness, my extraversion, my energy. Then, as I’ve grown older and stayed true to this core interest of mine - I’ve realised that, through the pathway of becoming a professional actor, I have learned how to become more and more myself. I do believe in what Meryl Streep says about acting, “Acting is not about being someone different. It's finding the similarity in what is apparently different, then finding myself in there.” Parts of myself that were shutdown through various experiences of life/society/judgment/whatever, have been reactivated (and dare I say, encouraged) through acting. To be able to immerse myself in a lifestyle that wholeheartedly encourages you to be your whole self (even the parts you might otherwise be ashamed of) is perhaps what gives me the buzz.

“I’ve always written about worlds i know nothing about in order to explore them.”

Great to hear. Hadn’t heard the Meryl Streep quote - I’ll remember it! The idea of theatre as a safe place to court disaster - by taking risks, asking awkward questions, trying out different approaches and imagining difference is i think a really valuable one. I’ve always written about worlds i know nothing about in order to explore them.

That’s interesting. Does that apply to the book you wrote, Firestarter?

Yes - people sometimes ask how you can write about a country you’ve never been to - but i’ve never been to the early nineteenth century either. John Stallon is an agricultural labourer in the village where i live - we missed each other by about 190 years. He comes across as a bit of a local hero by helping to fight barnfires; it takes four years before they realise he is lighting them himself…

That’s a twist! Dare I ask, do we find out about his motivations in your book?

Yes that’s one of the interesting aspects; his class of workers were very hard pressed at the time, and there were also what were called Swing Riots that broke out across the South and East of the country at the time, so it’s easy to assume a very political motive. Actually, it’s both more complicated and much simpler than that.

“The role of empathy is massive - the ability to see and feel the world as someone different from you does is almost everything.”

What did you enjoy most about the process of writing, Firestarter?

Well it was my lockdown project and probably would have been a play except that all the theatres were closed. I really enjoyed the fact i could immerse myself in that world, and work to pull together tiny bits of information to unlock its various mysteries. Nowadays we would say the labourers at the time were undocumented - apart from baptism/marriage/burial records kept by the parish church, virtually nothing is known about their lives. They were largely illiterate - wrote no letters (let alone books) - so unless anyone got in trouble with the law, they left barely a mark. I loved being able to make them visible.

That’s so brilliant. I love hearing about your relationship with the immersive nature of writing. How important do you feel it is to understand your character(s) before jumping in to writing or thinking plot?

The role of empathy is massive - the ability to see and feel the world as someone different from you does is almost everything. I’ve written about an african dictator - i’ve never met him, much less been in his situation, but i have met people who are like him in part. I know what it feels like to face such a person. The other thing you need of course, is distance - to be able to see a person in some kind of context - what it is they are really up against, as well as what they FEEL they are up against. That’s a much under-considered aspect i think - we’re all about the empathy and identity and life experience, but dispassion is also vital for a writer.

That’s a very interesting way to put it: what they’re really up against and what they FEEL they’re up against. Do you feel this ties into what they WANT and what they really NEED? Thinking about objectives that we so often love to discuss [during our time on the Writing for Performance MSt at University of Cambridge].

Yes, those are the terms i usually use, and vital for actors and dramatists to think about. What they are ‘up against’ is really about obstacles i guess - internal and external.

And indeed interpersonal. My 35 minute timer has just gone off... There’s so many more questions that have bubbled up for me in this process but I’m conscious of your time.

Well - that flew by! Great to talk to you Louise. If anyone is interested in ordering the book they can do so. Firestarter - The Fiery Life and Controversial Death of John Stallon, the Shelford Arsonist. From Galieo Publishing. Any bookshop should be able to find it.

I will include it in our conversation. Also, if you’re up for it - at another time - I’d love to dive into discussing our collaborative work on the Writing for Performance MSt at University of Cambridge ICE.

Yes that would be great.

For now, thank you very much for joining me. The time has flown by indeed - a sign of a good time!

Thanks Louise - have a great day.

Thank you!

See the creative artefact for yourself here.

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Today’s notes were brought to you direct from my teak writing desk and whilst watching my new comfort blanket:

Actress/comedian Amy Poehler has a new podcast and the guests are top tier (starting with Tina Fey) and just to happen to relevant for today’s note-taking.

First thought

I have been gently and quite hesitantly tip-toeing around the idea of researching, gathering, and writing something that would resemble a book of sorts. The most comforting thought I have is — nope, lost my train of thought. Writing a book is an intimidating prospect. I don’t know why; I am more than happy to voice my own opinions in person or through a conversation or when guiding my mentees. Perhaps there’s something around whatever I write being finite and unchangeable. Or criticised or ridiculed. But I am feeling gently encouraged by those around me and in conversations that have recently been arising to type up my notes, organise my thoughts and write about (perhaps) Why I Feel The World Needs Actors You or How to Make Your Own Luck. Title and exact content pending.

A thought on community building

Another thought that resurfaced for me today (I say resurfaced as I learned through my Raindance MA in filmmaking when I interviewed my good friend, who happens to be the BAFTA-winning Gamer-in-Chief of Bossa Games, Henrique Oliviers - what a cool title he has), and that is how in order to build our audience, we need to learn how to nurture and feed a small community; they are our way through. We need our audiences; it’s a consenting exchange — and hopefully we can create work that is rewarding for both parties. If we are able to entertain and therefore connect with others, then we’ll be able to share with others whilst receiving what feeds us too.

In response to my question that asked whether an audience could ever establish an audience there and then, Henrique replied pragmatically, “: You have to grow [online communities] over time. You will always find 5-6 people to start with. You can go on a similar community, of a similar film or a similar game and participate there and mention you’re doing this as well. People will go there and if they like what they see they will start bringing more people to it. Start small, don’t start big.”

Scroll down to the bottom to access my Final Masters Dissertation (awarded Distinction) that explored my research around audience engagement.

A thought on auditions

Maybe it is watching Amy Poehler and thinking about Hollywood but today for the first time I considered what life might be like living in Los Angeles. Could this be a healing place? Maybe, with the right amount of luck and generosity of people, we could get our film in front of the right people and I could audition - in person for roles. London is feeling like self-tape central and I really don’t think it brings the best out of my performances.

I hate self tapes. They stress me out. Auditions are stressful. You have to provide the best of you in the worst of environments; what can feel like an arena of judgment. As actors, you have to learn how not to care about what other people think because otherwise you can’t be yourself. And if you’re not yourself, you’ll blend into a sea of talent and into the deep waters of rejection.

Audiences want and need to see themselves — the selves of themselves that they want to see or need to see. Greta Gerwig is such a free spirit and I gravitate towards her films — and anything she chooses to express — because she reveals to us a true part of herself.

Meryl Steep said, “Acting is not about being someone different. It's about finding the similarity in what is apparently different, then finding myself in there”.

https://graziadaily.co.uk/celebrity/news/meryl-streep-best-quotes/

The last line!! That last line is exactly what I just wrote here before I remembered Meryl Streep’s quote and looked it up! I liked on the Grazia last and ta-dah! This beautiful article, short but oh so sweet, popped up and surprised me.

What is this day?! With Jack Black’s episode now playing in the background at 17m 30 minutes, Amy Poehler is now literally talking about auditions and repeating (and furthering!) what I was saying above on auditions.

❤️

More about my Final Master’s Project in Filmmaking…

(Written in 2018)

BACKGROUND

New York film Academy (2015) expressed “with women being so grossly underrepresented, it’s no wonder many actresses are making the transition and taking part in the production of their creative platforms.” I am an actress who wanted to have more freedom to choose the stories and characters I am part of and so producing became a liberating option for me to create my own platform, instead of waiting for somebody else to build one for me. Therefore, I have spent the past five years working my way up the production ladder on shorts, features and documentaries, starting first as a Junior Producer at an EMMY-nominated production company, then Assistant Producer, Associate Producer and Co-Producer.

When starting this course my skills set lended itself to the creative side of producing, with my strengths being around developing concepts, scripts and helping producers to bring their creative projects into fruition. Consequently, I lacked experience in the business side of producing, particularly around areas surrounding business plans, film financing, marketing, audience building and the development of my own projects. Through this Master’s degree I have targeted these commercial aspects of filmmaking and even led (as producer and lead actress) my own project, from idea to completion, through the Film Production Module and addressed my lack of experience in leading a project, whilst test-driving my new-found skills and applying my learnings from this course.

My short proof-of-concept film, titled How to be Human had quite an incredible response from its audience after a test screening at the British Film Institute in front of over 100 industry guests. I have since won Best Sci-Fi Film and Best Actress in a Sci-Fi Film at Miami International Science Fiction Film Festival 2018 and received overwhelming feedback from film critics, “from within minutes [How to be Human] had its claws in me and I wanted to see more ... now I get to be the impatient viewer and hope that either the story continues with more short films, or the movie gods smile and How to be Human becomes a feature film or a TV series," (FromPage2Screen, 2017).

By utilising the business skills obtained throughout this course, I am preparing myself to develop my proof-of-concept short film into a feature film project with the hope of franchising the expansive world of our story in the future and creating the opportunity to achieve my next acting and producing milestone.

Read more

People often ask me whether I like or dislike watching my playback and seeing myself on screen.

It’s a strange one because I have found there to be times in this process where I’ve enjoyed it, and other times I’ve felt myself collapse so far inside myself that I’d vow to myself to never look at the footage again (and thankfully Bruno and those around me are able to throw me a rescue line and pull me back into myself).

I’ve been in a unique privileged position with this film. Since it’s produced by our production company, Slowcooked we’ve been able to call the shots and decide - to a certain extent, budget-dependent - on how we wanted to do things.

There were lots of learnings from this project, and I’m still honestly processing the whole experience.

But one thing that has been an absolute result, is the decision we made to work with our friend and editor Neto Jones.

We began principle photography (the industry term for the day you officially begin shooting) on 12th May 2025 and Neto arrived in London on 11th May, the day before.

Every day Bruno and I would leave for set and Neto was based in our editing suite, and began editing as soon as the first camera cards were ready to be digested.

It felt like we were going out on the front line each day, on this crazy adventure where time and factors outside of our control would threaten to compromise our story every day.

The hours were long and the adrenaline was pumping.

But 17/17 shooting days, we came back with what we (trusted we) needed. And I would look forward to arriving to our home base and getting glimpses of the edit assembly that was forming. Neto’s energy was so high and positive, it was such a huge reassurance that we were on the right path with the film; as long as that energy and excitement for the story remained, I trusted we were in a good place! (And it did).

Due to time constraints and the story being tweaked and written right up until the final moments, Neto discovered our story through the editing process - which is quite an interesting approach in itself. He worked with the script alongside the material he was receiving but he was experiencing Darker Days scene by scene and take by take - and I’m pleased to say his triumphant smile held up!

Fast forward to today; 59 days since we wrapped.

And THIS WEEK we exported the first (rough) cut of our feature-length project. It’s currently coming in at 1 hour and 38 minutes.

With a fresh mind we sat down, blacked out the suite and watched the film in its entirety, making notes as we went through. Neto has since made those changes and I’m looking forward to watching it all over again.

Our incredible VFX team MIDAS (who wrapped on Jurassic World the day before joining us on ours) are hard at work and I CANNOT WAIT to see the next evolutionary step for this project.

Music, colour grade and sound design is on the cards after picture lock.

As for now, I’m (metaphorically) bathing in the post-production process and in absolute awe of every single filmmaker out there who has ever been through this process of making a feature film - and making it look so easy?!

Making a film is so intensive and all-consuming: from sourcing finance, writing the story, finding the team, pitching, casting, sourcing locations to editing, marketing and distributing.

This is one of my biggest learning curves to date and I thank my lucky stars for being able to experience this, and having the headspace to archive it and share it with you.

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There’s something I’ve always connected to when it comes to cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead. Not only was she a dedicated researcher of human nature (just like an actor is), but she would lug her bulky typewriter to remote communities in places like New Guinea and document her experiences through what became known as Letters from the Field. It was her way of archiving and reflecting on the human condition.

She was one of my first role models who rumbled a desire in me.

I love human behaviour; I love replicating and expressing human behaviour; I love the game aspect of living it so committedly, that you forget you’re pretending. AND I LOVE DOCUMENTING IT.

Brazil in its newness, vibrancy, open-hearted and tropical warmth of spirit, has been my New Guinea. An unfamiliar world in which I’m utterly charmed and enraptured by. It somehow fulfils a primal yearning in me: to always be on an adventure, connecting with people from all walks of life, speaking in another language and noticing the idiosyncrasies - and luckily surrounded by people I absolutely adore.

One day Mum, you’re going to see what I mean <3 (I know she’ll be reading this)

Whilst I’m there, my levels of excitement, wonder and awe require a distillation and digestion process. To metabolise my joy, I create Home Videos with my Grandad’s hand-me-down camcorder or I scrapbook. I get a plain notebook (London Graphic Centre is my go-to stationers, a must-know for all crafty folk alike), and prepare my tools (watercolours, crayons, pencils, pen, double-sided sticky tape, glue, scissors and a solid black Sharpie).

Plain paper, no plan. Just letting the journey present itself as it happens; a thought that occured to you at a restaurant whilst you wait for your friend to arrive, the fresh self-reflection that comes from feeling a foreign fish in a tropical pond, the strangers who become friends, the recipes you come into contact with, the words of wisdom from old souls you can only hope to meet again). Just living and archiving it.

It’s what I did during our summer school holidays as a child.

It’s what I did when I was a teen moving to Hamburg acquiring the “life experience” that Guildhall Drama School earnestly encouraged me to seek.

And it’s what appears to be what I’m doing now I’m an adult, as I pursue my life-long dreams as an actress in London.

This substack is my ongoing series of Letters from the Field City.

Honest, earnest and straight from my inner world to yours.

Thank you for being on the journey with me.

Until the next update,

Louise

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Photo taken at Raindance Film Festival 2025 by Alan Barnes - The Pap

After 17 filming days - and a one woman show (created by powerhouse writer Joanna Holland) - I really thought that I’d need a lot more time to rest and recover, but it’s been non-stop - and I’m loving it. I thought there’d be potentially a post-wrap crash or an achy nostalgia drag for the cherishable memories made but I suppose I hadn’t realised that of course there’s so much yet to come.

We’re now entering post-production with the feature film we just wrapped on and our editor Neto Jones is compiling with director Bruno Centofanti. Now the film is essentially being made again and constructed through the choices that they’ll go on to make. How about this analogy: Pre-production we summoned the canvas and bought the paints. Production was us gathering the materials and creating the various shades of paints and Post-production is the painting comes together. Fellow filmmakers, does that analogy sound about right?

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Due to wonderful moments, new memories and refreshing connections this week has been exceptional. Thank you dear friend Em for +1-ing me to Raindance Film Festival’s Opening Gala, loved seeing you in action on the red carpet and grateful I managed to convince the PR reps that I’m part of Raindance - which is technically true, I graduated from there, I mentor other students there and founder, Elliot Grove once said, “Movies can change the world, How to be Human definitely does”.

https://raindance.org/interview-with-louise-salter/

Blagging my way onto the red carpet reminded me of the very thing that I think Raindance stands for. Be a maverick by daring to take courageous action on what you need in order to have a career in film despite the odds. As the lovely screenwriter Shyala Smith labelled in conversation, it’s us stepping into main character energy for our interests and ourselves.

And massive thanks to Alan Barnes - The Pap who shared the photos with me and captured the moment!

Experiencing a night sky of flashing cameras was such a moment, I had always wondered what that would feel like.

Wishing you all a brilliant week ahead. My wish for you is that you dare to step into your main character energy. Own your story, take up space, and walk through each day like the world needs what only you can bring. You are your own character. Whether it’s a bold move or a quiet act of courage, let this be the week you choose yourself.

Finally, as a delightful priest remarked to me when I asked if we could film our indie feature film on their grounds, “seek for forgiveness, not for permission.” Shout out Reverend, thank you for supporting independent films.

PS I came across this healthy & moreish energy ball recipe this week by Madeleine Olivia. I’d give it 10/10 because it didn’t even require baking and all appliances I used fit into the dishwasher after, so was effortless and easy.

One happy Louise!

Photo by friend and founder of La Loca Post, Neto Jones

There is so much to share with you. So much to digest. 17 shooting days. 55 crew members in total. 4 on-screen vehicles. 2 stunts. 12 cast members. 15+ supporting artistes (thank you friends!) AND we got it in the can.

I am definitely riding a wave and enjoy waking up every day and remembering that we made a feature film! I had my leading acting role in my first feature film! Bruno Centofanti wrote and directed his first feature film! Lukáš Bistřický was the cinematographer on his first feature film! Tori Hitchens designed the costumes for her first feature and it all came together so beautifully.

There were a lot of firsts for the team involved on this project and it made it all the more special. And for a lot of people it certainly wasn’t their first and that has been a great support too.

For sure, there were challenges. Every day was a challenge in its own way (I need some processing time to be able to talk about these) but I just kept reminding myself - and had Bruno alongside me reminding me - to stay focused because, “we’re making it!”

We made our feature.

We. Made. Our. Feature. Film. (say it louder for those in the back!)

We made our feature film(!)

We MaAdE OuRr FeEaTureeeeeeee Filmmm! Wooooooo!

WHAAAAAAAT!

Dream come true.

And now?

We enter post-production 😍

It’s been hard to rest because the excitement and thrill is just so much. My heart feels full. My creative channels feel wide open and it’s just so hard to rest. I am enjoying the surf and I’m exhilarated by the abundant waves.

But as an attempt to relax, I am going to reflect on things that I’m looking forward to doing as a restful reward:

• Going to the cinema! It’s been so long that I had free time. I had the joy of visiting Everyman Stratford, wow. For many years, we lived in the Olympic Park, Stratford and if there was an Everyman at the time I would have found myself there day in and day out. I mean look at this place:

  

• Watching a new film course I signed up to where “film meets psyche, where image fractures, and meaning bleeds. From the historical legacy of hysteria to the spectral melancholy of modern cinema, we explore the female psyche not as pathology but as poetry. Why have these terms disappeared from clinical language? What do they still reveal? What do they conceal? Each session pairs film analysis with a psychological inquiry bringing the themes into dialogue with your own lived experience through reflective and applied exercises. This is not a course about diagnosis. This is an act of excavation.”

• Popping into visit James at Aesop in Covent Garden and topping up on some spathroom (spa at home in the bathroom) treats. Top of my list at the moment is: Geranium Leaf Body Scrub (purchased today thank you Jacob in Coal Drops Yard) and the sublime replenishing night masque. The masque especially is a top tier treat but my gosh, it’s like having a spa at home and is a luxurious experience, especially for visiting friends. Oh and if you happen to be converting your home into a unit base, then the botanical bathroom deodoriser aka post-poo drops can become essential oils x

• Rejoining my Meisner acting sessions with Nicole Gaskell. Although emotionally I feel as though I need to be very gentle with myself and recovery post-feature. My character required me to be very vulnerable and emotional and I loved every second, I just also need to recoup my energy for the next!

• Gatherings with friends. I’m looking forward to playing host and welcoming friends over or catching up over a cosy matcha or heart warming coffee or maybe, a calming herbal tea. I’m going to restock on my herbal tea so I’m ready.

• Having my mum visit and having time to leisurely go into town and live our London Life together. I grew up in the suburbs of London, Zone 6 Crayford. Mum and I have never been so central and when she visits we act like tourists in our own city. It’s fun to treat ourselves and taste nice food and shop for bargains - we are avid charity shop goers, they are treasure chests waiting for you to find gold. You find unique one-off pieces and supporting various charities.

• Start to digest footage from the behind the scenes of our film and start assembling our making-of film (okay the work is starting to creep in on the rewards list already).

• Put my mind to the release of the film with the creative assets I’m thinking to create (work related but will be rewarding).

• Expand Living with Louise - something that has been very exciting for m

  e to explore. Now this one I’ve been thinking about a lot. I’ve got some ideas that I’d like to explore which essentially develop Living with Louise into a bit of a lifestyle brand. I’d love for it to represent freedom somehow, freedom to be yourself, freedom to choose a life based around your interests, freedom to create and express yourself. If you’d be up for sampling or being part of my focus group, please drop me a message - I’d love to share some ideas with you.

• I’d also like to purchase this Liquid Death doormat which I think is cool and is giving me Darker Days vibes (Darker Days = the name of our feature).

Of course loads more to say.

But will respectfully park it here.

Lots of love friends, feel free to reach out. I always love to hear from you!

Have you thought about making your own rewards wishlist? Doesn’t have to be something you buy but something you do for yourself.

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We have 3/4 days left (still unsure about whether we’ll have an extra day to film or not but we’re coming to the end of the shoot. The day these Polaroids were taken was the day I started to really feel nostalgia for the present moment. I am soaking it all up and couldn’t be more thrilled. I know that these are memories for a lifetime and I hope that I can remember all the little moments that happened that either taught us something or brought us joy, because I’ve never felt so alive than how I feel now.

This is Louise Kim Salter reporting live from the frontline of making our feature film!

Photo by Wanda Martin

Makeup & Hair by Mikaela Honeywill

Styled by Tori Hitchens

“It’s better than my nightmares ❤️”. My response to a dear friend of mine after he asked me how’s it all going.

Today I set my 35 minute timer. I needed it in order to write this, it’s quite hard to stay focused when the energy of living your dream fuels your every breath. I am physically exhausted, never had so little sleep. But I’m also getting to fly the plane that we’ve been building for so long. Like a next-level team building exercise that challenges you to use your resources and work together to win the game.

This week we completed our ninth day of filming. Nine out of potentially eighteen days. We’ve been through most of the emotionally challenging scenes - with two still more to go. I feel like we’ve been assembling our avengers. When you have such incredible, talented and generous team making it happen, you feel so supported and excited about the journey.

We filmed the first five days between 12th and 16th May, 2025. The Saturday I laid flat for 85% of the day. The Sunday I got in my car, green tea or coffee or both in hand, and drove 3 hours to Great Yarmouth. Where I’d arrive at 12:58 and begin rehearsals at 13:00 until 19:00. Then I’d go to the Wetherspoons pub, within our Wetherspoons hotel (I’d stay again) with the director of the play you’re to perform on Monday 19th Joanna Holland as part of the Norfolk & Norwich Arts Festival with the director of the festival in attendance (hope he enjoyed it)!

I was performing on Monday 19th at the exquisite (adjective used sparingly) St. George’s Theatre. I was warmly welcomed by reception who then took me backstage to show me the space. They genuinely seemed so glad to have us there; it was a lovely feeling.

The play started at 20:00, followed by a Q&A and a lovely meeting with audience members who connected with the themes within the stories shared. Leah Clements shared her experience with Parasomnia and provoked many intriguing questions from the audience who were drawn to her experience. I then drove home to London, arriving back at 00:30, setting my 7:00 alarm and on set and in makeup for our feature film at 08:00. Unit base: London Irish Centre (thanks so much for having us)(you should check out their events and website - they are a hidden gem in Camden).

Speaking of hidden gems…

… I can’t tell you more than that, but that is a clue to the feature film we are in the process of making. I am so excited to share more with you as soon as I can but for now, I’ll stick to sharing the behind the scenes experience. Because that I can talk all day and night about. I feel that somehow the making-of this film is just as interesting, rewarding and as thrilling as the film itself.

We’re a group of passionate filmmakers who have been wanting to make a feature film for many years. On this team, the following are in the process of making their debut within these roles:

Lukáš Bistřický ACK - Director of Photography

Bruno Centofanti - Director

Tori Hitchens - Costume Designer

Neto Jones - Editor

Nick Francis - Script Editor

Louise Kim Salter - Lead Actress

🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆

Yesterday was my first day off and it was hard to get out of bed. I ended up wallowing and getting a bit down because I didn’t have the energy to clean but I couldn’t relax enough to nap, so I was finding myself getting a bit frustrated. Later that day, when Bruno and Neto arrived back from wrestling a couple of production obstacles, Bruno went to meet a good friend and I reluctantly pushed myself to get out of our upside-down-home-slash-unit-base and I ordered Itsu to be delivered and gamified the whole situation by racing to complete as many housework tasks as possible before they arrived. I managed to hoover all rooms AND mop (n.b. most of the floorspace is like a camera and props buffet with a pathway kept open for you to walk around it).

I then got on my green avocado shoes and went to The Constitution Pub, the pub at the end of my street, and I literally felt like I’d found myself on holiday. It was exactly what I needed. Also on the way home, I showed Neto the locations that we’d been recording that week around the area in true Guerilla style.

And as we sat in the evening light, I asked my friend Jonesy (Neto Jones), if I had shown them this little project I’ve been working on recently, “LivingwithLouise.com”.

Photo by Wanda Martin

Makeup & Hair by Mikaela Honeywill

Styled by Tori Hitchens

Watching as Neto scrolled through my posts, I realised how good it feels to be able to share myself through words. It’s the closest thing I can imagine to learning how to play an instrument, words are my notes and sentences are my chords.

I’ve also realised that in my life that I have played many roles. Roles that may have people pleasing or whatever the scene demanded. One of the biggest rewards along this pathway is the process of this acting craft. To feel like you’re working a muscle, and that you are simultaneously also that muscle drawing strength from your own life and lived experience. I created a short film called How to be Human and I think the title says a lot about my interests.

I’ve learned about the various masks I wear in my own life - and how my instincts respond differently in various circumstances and situations, which can then inform how my character may (or may not) differ from me and my own characteristics. Meisner is great for that. I highly recommend looking into Sanford Meisner if any of this piques your interest.

Some of the best books (for me) on the Meisner technique include:

• Meisner in Practice: A Guide for Actors, Directors and Teachers

  by Nick Moseley

• “Sanford Meisner on Acting” by Sanford Meisner and Dennis Longwell

• “The Sanford Meisner Approach” workbooks by Larry Silverberg

• “The Actor’s Art and Craft: William Esper Teaches the Meisner Technique” by William Esper

You can read more about my interests in Meisner here where I share about the time my mind convinced me that I was looking at my future self in the Repetition Exercise.

Photo by Wanda Martin

Makeup & Hair by Mikaela Honeywill

Styled by Laura Parkes

I’ve always been one for a scrapbook and I realised I wasn’t sharing that online, I was too afraid and worried that I’d be judged. But this is something that also makes writing this so wonderful, just the very act of writing this down alone is enough. But it provides me with this space to appreciate my process, reflect and digest the goodness from this experience and overcome my thoughts that say it won’t be good enough or what have you got to talk about anyway?

Being an actor has taught me that the best role you can ever play, is the role of being yourself. It almost feels spiritual. And I feel passionately about sharing my process in hope that I can also help others to be themselves too. I am fundamentally optimistic about human nature. I think because I’ve come to believe that fear and hate can be overridden - we can override our state of minds, with practice and a lot of patience and trust that we will get there. You can. You can get there.

I could keep writing, I have a lot more to say on this. But I’ll end here in case I’m scaring you away with how long the piece is. It’s a free flowing stream of consciousness. Unfiltered reflections. But I get it, enough is enough.

I would love to hear from you, if you read this and it connected with you.

Lots of love & wish us luck for day 10-18 and beyond!

P.S. I set my timer 35 minutes ago at 16:30 and it’s now 19:01. Powerful tool for productivity that one!

Louise

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In order to get to that point (and achieve my goal), I realised I’d needed to take a few intentional steps to get there. With determination and persistence that journey became:

Act in a short film with prestigious cast - Soror, directed by James Webber starring BIFA and BAFTA-winning Kate Dickie, Rosie Day and Sian Breckin amongst others. I also had the privilege to meet and work with Director of Photography, Lorenzo Levrini who would later help us bring our short sci-fi How to be Human to life.

Lead in a short film - Butterfly directed by Alex Withers. Which later evolved into an anthology feature film called Girl Feels: Into the Blue and can be streamed on Amazon Prime.

Have a speaking role in a feature film - The Habit of Beauty directed by Mirko Pincelli, acting alongside BAFTA nominated Kierston Wareing and the one and only Nick Moran.

Lead in a short film with an award winning cast - now this is where things really got interesting because this was the first film I had produced and is where my collaboration with director Bruno Centofanti began. How to be Human featured a BAFTA winning (Sophie Kennedy Clark) and Tony-award winning (Frances Ruffelle - the original Eponine in Les Miserables) cast and had the VFX team who just worked on Indiana Jones and Andor.

And now - leading in a feature film.

Tomorrow, we film.

The journey hasn’t been easy by any means but thanks to the generosity and generosity of spirit of those around us - tomorrow we begin the process of filming our feature film!

Wish us luck.

If in 18 days time we have completed all days of filming - we will no longer be first-time filmmakers but filmmakers with a feature film under our belt.

And the ambition of my younger self and my present self will finally meet.

The repetition exercise is part of an acting technique where two actors face each other and repeat something that they notice about the other person (that’s ideally not an assumption) and the other person has to “accept everything and deny nothing,” as Meisner would say. Like a game of ping-pong, the phrase should bounce between you both. The only time it changes is if something in my partner behaviourally (their tone, their energy, their posture, their expression, their movement, etc.) changes. “An ounce of behaviour is worth a pound of words”. If nothing changes behaviourally, you just keep repeating the same phrase - even if it feels awkward or boring.

This technique trains our ability to draw our attention away from ourselves and onto someone else, our scene partner. It also trains our observation skills and presence; I’ve learned that the extent to which I’m present is in direct correlation with the quality of my attention. I don’t know about you, but presence, for me, is one of the most magnetic qualities that someone could possess. It’s a skill and it can be trained.

The repetition is also an exercise in empathy, openness and courage. It is also an exercise that trains us to remove the masks we wear in everyday life. “F*ck polite” is often a phrase we stumble across, as we all have been socially conditioned one way or another to do or be something that’s not entirely who we are. But we do it because we don’t want to be judged, we don’t want to be rejected, we don’t want to be failures, we want people to like us, to admire us, whatever it might be.

Meisner believed that "the truth of ourselves is the root of our acting" and this repetition exercise is a gym workout for our emotions and honesty. Repeating a phrase as simple as “you have beautiful wrinkles” can provoke spontaneous and rich behaviours that are instinctive and unfiltered. We all, to varying degrees, have a myriad of masks, or layers - however you want to look at it - and if you’re lucky enough to find a wonderful Meisner class that enables this vulnerable and extraordinary work to take place, then I hope you feel that my explanation of the above does the work justice.

Thankfully, I have been lucky. My first teacher Alex Marx was phenomenal. I trained with Alex across the span of about 7 years and he opened my eyes, heart and mind up to the world of Meisner. He also introduced me to Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way which I’ll always be grateful for. Since Alex is following his own thespianic dreams and about to direct his first feature film, (with a stellar cast too may I add), I had been looking for someone to continue my Meisner journey with.

👏May I please introduce Nicole Gaskell everybody. 👏

Nicole has a Meisner class every Saturday and Tuesday in Central London, hosted by Actors Coaching International and they’re affordable and everything I was hoping for.

Now, to directly address the subject of this post it was in this Saturday’s class with Nicole that I faced my future self.

esiuoLouise

Photo by Wanda Martin

Makeup & Hair by Mikaela Honeywill

Styled by Laura Parkes

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I’m standing up in front of the class and partnered with a lovely woman who comes to join me - also called Louise. Nicole agreed to differentiate us by calling me Lou and my partner Louise, Louise. I notice straight away that Louise was an attractive woman in her (I’d guess) early 60s? Her eyes were warm and friendly. Her skin was fresh and dewy. She was wearing a deep blue dress with some speckles on it (I want to say flowers), I liked it. I liked her. I noticed her bracelets.

Me: You’re wearing bracelets.

Louise: I’m wearing bracelets. (Louise smiles)

Me: You’re wearing bracelets. (Louise’s smile makes me smile)

Louise: I’m wearing bracelets.

Me: You’re wearing bracelets.

Louise: I’m wearing bracelets.

You’re wearing bracelets.

This went on and organically shifted from “you’re wearing bracelets” to a few other observations and 3/4 of the way, this caught my eye:

Me: You have beautiful wrinkles.

(This takes Louise by surprise and she bursts into a sort of sad laughter).

Louise: I have beautiful wrinkles.

Me: You have beautiful wrinkles.

Louise: I have beautiful wrinkles. (Louise’s eyes well up)

Me: You have beautiful wrinkles. (At this stage it felt like I was convincing her)

Louise: I have beautiful wrinkles.

Me: You have beautiful wrinkles.

A 30-something year old and a 60-something year old stand face-to-face and are confronted by the openness and honesty of the person who they’re looking into the eyes of.

In order for me to have the courage to comment on Louise’s beautiful wrinkles, I had to apply the “f*ck polite” rule. In everyday life I would never have felt comfortable expressing that as it could be deemed as “rude” or “offensive” but I knew that my intention was loving and that was something that interested me about Louise’s face.

The repetition continued and although we kept the repetition simple, I could feel how alive we both were with each other. I wasn’t thinking about my own behaviour at all - I was just fixated on Louise.

Then, Nicole prompted, “Lou - I want you to now imagine you’re meeting your future self. This is your future self looking back at you now.”

In that instant, I fully allowed myself to believe that I was looking back at myself. And I could not have been MORE. SCARED. It shook me to my very core and I did not know how to take it. Louise had similar almond eyes to me, her hair was the silver-blonde wasn’t too dissimilar in length to my own - we both even had fringes. Looking into Louise’s eyes felt like I was looking into my own eyes. I turned away from Louise and couldn’t help but start to cry and shake. It was so surreal and I couldn’t un-see it.

What was I so afraid of?

This is the question I woke up asking myself this morning. I think I was most afraid of time passing. That a big part of my life had skipped and I hadn’t the memory of what happened in between, (you can probably tell how convinced I was in the way that I’m writing - my heart is still accelerating at the thought). I commonly hear people say how their life flashed them by in a heartbeat and comment on the disconnect between the person they see in the mirror and the person and age they feel themselves to be. Although the thought of death occasionally rocks the steadiness of my breath, I do know that I am more afraid of losing people whom I love than dying myself. If I’m dead I wouldn’t have to worry about the grief. I think perhaps I’m afraid of grief.

Aging has also been a fear of mine, and I (shamefully) plucked the one and only white hair that has ever presented itself on my hair as quickly as I spotted it. But WHY WHY WHY am I so afraid of aging? Isn’t it a privilege to have lived? I had no hesitation in telling Louise how beautiful she was and truly saw that. I also saw a woman of strength, groundedness and grace. Yes, the insecurity may have been in there too, but I saw resilience. I saw resolve and self-assurance. A woman who had been on a journey and isn’t going to be saddened by societal pressures. This part is an assumption of course but it’s true to what I saw in Louise.

I’d love to hear Louise’s perspective on the experience we shared.

To be continued?

But what do you expect when you try to make a feature film with a budget that struggles to stretch in the minds of the industry and gatekeepers whose firm presence makes it really hard for the small guy to take that leap from short films to features.

I knew it would be hard, but I honestly didn’t think it would be this hard.

But between my last post and this, we have (the majority of) our core team and secured the key locations (thanks to friends, recommendations of friends and the kind people of our neighbourhood). We even had our first team meet up on Friday night and we gathered in our living room whilst our wonderful Production Designer shared her vision for my character’s flat.

In the last two weeks we have:

Hosted our first in-person team meeting (another to happen v soon).

Director and our Screenwriter - Bruno Centofanti has been crafting and tactfully sculpting our story, I’m witnessing an artist conjuring a piece of work that is an accumulation of his experience, interests and life-long passion.

Director of Photographer - Lukas Bistricky we are so lucky to have you on board. Your energy has been critical to us moving forward at the speed in which we are.

Production Designer - Violette De Laet her work is as beautiful as her personality! To see how you absorbed our character’s psychology and are able to translate that into her living space. Collaborating with you is so fun.

Costume Designer - Tori Hitchens hand-crafting bespoke costume and designs that reflect who our characters are and the story that they tell themselves.

The support of wonderful friends - YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

A flat in West London that we have full freedom to re-decorate and transform into my character’s home environment. (The first lick of paint goes up tomorrow!)

An additional 5 locations (crossing fingers).

A licensed black cab and black cab driver who is part of our team. Cabaret Dan, you’re a top guy.

We still have many things to source and complete and logistics and paperwork. Finalise budget! BFI Certification application! Lock schedule! Parking permits! Catering! Extras! Find the missing puzzles pieces to our close-knit team of creators, makers, doers and problem solvers.

Did I mention that we start filming on 5th May?

Feels like I’m preparing for battle.

Photo by Wanda Martin (untouched and fresh from her camera). Makeup and Hair by Mikaela Honeywill. Costume Design by Tori Hitchens.

But I have also never felt so ready.

Once upon a time the film industry had to reinvent itself
and the new story is the one we are telling. Together.

Making a low-budget feature film is an act of defiance.

Making a low-budget feature film is an act of resilience.

This is an act of creation.

I am committed to my innate and human right to create.

I will not be extinguished by any force that threatens to dampen my innate desires and self expression.

I am committed to honoring my artistic license.

LET’S DO THIS!